Readers familiar with my belief system will understand why I have chosen not to surface to discuss my novel, Feather & Bone. After years of preparation for the End Time, which WILL occur this year, it would be foolish of me to venture back to the UK in order to introduce my book to readers. If my calculations proved to be just slightly out, I could find myself stuck in the Confident Readers section without shelter and supplies.
Instead, I have dispatched my friend and literary executor, Mr Matt Whyman. I suspect he does not share my conviction that an almighty catacylsm is set to occur on earth. When I asked him to represent me at an event to mark World Book Day on March 5th, he seemed almost pleased to be offered the spotlight. I can only think he hadn't been invited to partake in any events in his own right as a thriller writer.
Still, I am grateful to my friend for undertaking this venture. He reported back that the audience - fine, attentive students from Rudyard Kipling School in Brighton, paid great attention to the warnings relayed on my behalf. Each and every young reader then returned to their homes with a book in hand and every intention of stockpiling baked beans and bottled water in preparation for the apocalypse.
Above is a photograph of a somewhat shabbily-dressed Mr Whyman - a man crying out for a haircut, it seems - along with my wise young converts. Look beyond the fixed grins, and you can see the sense of dread and panic in their eyes.
As ever, the anotations to this image are all by my own hand.
Sorry you couldn't be here in person, Mr Strangolov, but I can understand your concerns. Have spent most of the last week trying to crack the code as well as pondering where best to dig a bunker in the garden ... Any tips let me know! Stay safe.
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