Friday, 6 February 2009

Lazlo Strangolov's Panic Attack Survival Guide

Last night, while researching a link between supernovas and the swarming patterns of locusts, I felt a tightness in my chest.

My skin prickled, my mouth became dry, and my breathing quickened. Rising from my workstation in the bunker's west wing, I immediately felt the urge to scramble from my underground dwelling. Naturally, I keep the hatch under triple lock and key. It is a precaution I have put in place to prevent myself from doing anything foolish while gripped by a panic attack.

This is not the first time I have found myself in such a spin. As my work is devoted to the foretelling of future events, I often make discoveries that both startle and dismay.

Having experienced several attacks already this year, in view of what I know, I now have a system for restoring a sense of calm. It is something I feel that I should share with you. As details of the world's End Time is contained as a code within the pages of Feather & Bone, I expect those who crack it might be somewhat freaked out.

The key is to be prepared, and follow these steps:

  1. Remind yourself that this is just a panic attack. Not easy when you've just discovered that a cataclysmic event is set to befall the globe.
  2. Control your breathing. Not easy when time is running out.
  3. Clench your fists and then relax them. Not easy when you're hammering on the hatch demanding to be let out.

I realise my advice is based upon personal experience. You may find alternative coping strategies. If all else fails, I find breathing in and out of a paper bag can help bring a sense of calm. Just be sure you don't inhale the whole thing, or blow it apart on exhaling.

Believe me, if you're wise to my findings, it is easily done.

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